


if only the world didn't weigh so much

by JustAnotherWriterChica



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Don't worry, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, mentions of torture, there will be lots of fluff and cuddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-18 06:53:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8152984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAnotherWriterChica/pseuds/JustAnotherWriterChica
Summary: After their time on The Raft, the Avengers are rescued by Steve and Natasha who take them to the Black Panther's hideout. This whole ordeal has left Wanda completely rattled but luckily Natasha knows what it's like feel the world come crashing down on you and just so happens to be interested in the young witch. Maybe with a little help, Wanda can find a new okay.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi lovelies, so this is my first work in this fandom, I'm terribly sorry if I get any of this wrong but obviously it's my lesbian take on what I wanted to happen at the end of CA:CW. As always, thank you for the read and please let me know what you think!

Yesterday had been the big day. 

The day that Steve had come back for his team and saved the Avengers. The poster boy came sauntering in with a grin that would make most girls weak in the knees, unbeknownst to him, his team had been through quite the ordeal in the... days? Weeks? 

The boys didn't know at that time and Wanda hadn't even bothered to try and figure it out. After being broken out, and greeted by none other than the Black Widow herself on the landing pad, they came to find out it had only been five days. 

Five days of excruciating pain, tests, and torture. 

When Steve had broken the doors of every cell with one shot of his shield they had all come out in varying states. 

Scott had leapt over the glass shards and gave Steve a bear hug, giving the man a peck on the cheek before walking out into the hall where he could be heard shouting, probably at the unconscious guards. Scott had gotten it the easiest, only taking physical pain as he was beaten every time he answered a question with a question of his own. The Raft's guard were particularly fond of their batons and Scott's ribs were their main targets. 

Sam had hobbled out, limping to Steve and clapping the man on the back, probably telling some stupid joke judging by the grin that had been plastered to his face. Sam had been beaten, much like Scott, but sometimes the guards would grab him when they thought he had fallen asleep. The Falcon wouldn't say what they would do but it was something that had him startled by even the tiniest of noises and never too keen on sleep. 

Clint had foregone Steve entirely, running to Wanda's cell as he checked on the young girl. Clint had no physical damage, aside from a black eye and some bloody knuckles but one of those was stupidly self-inflicted. No, the game plan with Clint had been psychological torture the entire time. Sometimes it would be in front of the group, where he would be forced to listen to his children scream and his wife beg for mercy. It was obviously manipulated sound clips and constantly reminding himself of that was the only thing keeping Hawkeye sane. A couple times he had been drugged and dragged out of the room, only returning when his eyes were blank and unfocused and his skin was a sickly white. When asked about what had happened to him he would only reply once he made sure everyone was how he had left them before mumbling about their screams. 

Wanda hadn't moved when Steve had entered, hadn't flinched when the shield had shattered the glass in front of her eyes. Only jerking back to reality when Clint had leapt into her cell and grabbed her arm. She could feel the scarlet begin to bubble within her and she knew that an outburst was to come next, and no one had better be around her when that happens. Clint had calmly told Wanda what he was going to do, unwrapping her from the straightjacket before moving to touch the collar. With her hands now free, Wanda knew she had maybe a minute before her energy spilled out of her in a tidal wave. 

Afraid to open her mouth, in case the scarlet would emerge from it, she held up a hand to stop Clint from touching her again. She hoped the boys would stay away as she turned and ran into the hall opposite of Scott's current ranting. 

Within seconds of slamming the door shut behind her, Wanda pulled at the collar until it came off with a loud pop. She threw it to the ground, watched as it skidded down the hall until it hit a wall. That was when she felt the tidal wave forming underneath her skin, the energy that was demanding to be released. 

So she unleashed the beast. 

Wanda opened her mouth, throwing her hands out to the side of her, and let out a blood curdling scream as every part of her body radiated with the scarlet energy. She closed her eyes as the violent red splashed up the walls, soaking the room in its Crimson shades for a whole minute before slowly fading, returning to Wanda or dissipating entirely. 

The Sokovian dropped to her knees as she tried to regain her strength, palms pressed against the floor as she struggled to feel much of anything. Her sudden release had taken everything out of her so she was grateful when Clint ripped the door open and scooped her up into his arms. He carried her to the helicopter, murmuring comforting words of how strong she had been, how things were going to get better, etc. 

Wanda hadn't really listened to any of it though, in one ear and out the other as they say. She just concentrated on not envisioning everything that had happened to her, to them. Focused on keeping her emotions in check so she didn't blow them out of the sky. 

When they reached the Black Panther's hide away Wanda had hung back on the plane until everyone had gone, asking for space and time. That wish had been respected and she hadn't even seen anyone yesterday as she made her way to what she was told was her room and had stayed in there until the next morning. 

Which would be today. 

Wanda woke up pretty late, granted she'd only fallen asleep at six and slept until ten, but she'd done more with less. So when she got dressed in new, fresh clothes, she decided that she would explore a little and find her own hideout. 

It hadn't taken long and soon she was alone in a little garden maze, big enough to get lost in but small enough to easily get out. It was a good ways away from the base, far enough that Wanda knew she could let everything out without hurting anybody. So she did. 

Wanda found her way to the center of the maze, where the walls rose higher than the outer layers and they encompassed her and her magic easily. It didn't take much to summon a powerful burst of energy and Wanda screamed again, almost sobbing as the scarlet rolled off of her. The red had nowhere to go but up and it shot out of the maze's center like a rocket, sending flares into the sky. Wanda imagined it must have been somewhat pretty to look at. 

When she had finally let everything out, feeling numb and calm, she rose from the spot where she had dropped to her knees almost a half hour ago. Trailing her fingers along the vines, Wanda walked out of the garden as she easily navigated all the twists and turn. 

Wanda had almost made it to the base when she was startled, "Feel any better now?"

She turned on her heels to find Natasha, lazily leaning against a wall and almost blocking the entrance. 

"What?"

Natasha quirked an eyebrow, "I asked if you're feeling better now. I saw the scarlet out in the garden and I came out to check on you. Figured you would rather be alone in there though."

Wanda nodded her understanding as she slowly processed what the former assassin had just said, her brain more than a little tired now. "So you saw all of that then?"

Natasha shook her head, looking far more concerned now. "I only saw a little bit but when I came running out here I could clearly hear you."

How nice, Wanda thought, the Black Widow came running to find me. She shuffled on her feet, ducking her head sheepishly, "I hadn't realized how loud I was being, I suppose." 

"We all have our ways of handling things." Natasha shrugged it off like screaming and raging in the middle of a maze was completely normal. The assassin pushed off the wall, respecting Wanda's boundaries when the younger woman flinched at the movement. "Let's go eat."

"No I think I - "

"Wanda, that wasn't a suggestion. After the hell you went through you have to eat." Then Natasha did something Wanda never thought she would see. 

The Black Widow smiled, almost hesitantly, and stretched out an open hand towards the witch. Wanda accepted immediately, wrapping her hand around the older woman's and instantly feeling better. Her powers were still weak but she could sense the genuine concern radiating off Natasha and it was the most comforting thing she'd felt in weeks. 

 

She allowed herself to somewhat enjoy the rest of the day, trying to stay semi close to Clint or Natasha at all times. It was hard though, if she was not actively involved with something she was drifting into her own dark thoughts. There were quite a few times when she turned around to see Steve catching a lamp or a table she had apparently been lifting in the air. 

As soon as eight o' clock came around Wanda made a beeline for her room, trying to escape from... well nothing in particular really. She just wanted out. So she had waited until the boys all had a beer in hand and were deeply engrossed in some stupid conversation to make her escape. The only person she hadn't noticed was Natasha, but the redhead had definitely taken notice of the escape act. 

Wanda had successfully made it to her room and had changed into her pajamas when there was a soft rap on the door. The witch whipped around, feeling uncomfortably exposed as she turned to see who had entered. She immediately relaxed when she saw the Russian woman lazily leaning against the door frame. "Hey kid, that little disappearing act of yours could use some adjustments."

Wanda smiled lightly, "Yes because when the boys are drunk they will definitely notice that I'm gone."

Natasha shrugged, taking a few steps into the room and sitting on the edge of the bed, "Well you know, it's physically impossible for Steve to get drunk. Believe me, I've tried."

Wanda laughed, taking a seat next to Natasha and pulling her legs up to criss cross. After a moment of silence Wanda was starting to zone out again when Natasha asked, "Why did you come up here?"

"I was tired. It's been a long week you know." Wanda tried to joke but she could see that Natasha was having none of it. 

"The real reason."

Wanda sighed, "I am tired because it's been a long week. I've had to deal with so much over the last few days because I lost control of myself. It's overwhelming and exhausting enough to think about, let alone go through."

Natasha nodded, "Do you want to talk about it or do you want a distraction?" 

"Distraction." Wanda nodded firmly before falling back onto the bed, letting out a soft sigh when her head hit the pillow. It had been a long day for her and while she welcomed the company, she was also eager to find sleep. 

Natasha flopped down next to her, causing the Sokovian to bounce a little. "What's your favorite food?"

Wanda let out a snort, which turned into a full on laugh; the question was absurd. Here they were, lying in bed, a biologically enhanced woman who can control minds and a Red Room trained assassin, talking about their favorite foods. "Nachos. We had them in Sokovia but they're just so different from my culture, that's why I like them."

Natasha smirked, turning her head to watch Wanda as she spoke, moving her hands the entire time. "Interesting choice. I think mine is pizza, can't seem to get enough of it." 

Wanda chuckled again, noticing her fingers fidget of their own accord. "Do you ever think about where you would be if you had a normal life?"

Natasha turned her head back towards the ceiling, trying to come up with an actual answer. "Honestly, no. There was only a brief time in my life where I wasn't learning how to kill or actually killing and I don't even really remember it. Sometimes I day dream about that stuff but then we get called out because some crazy terrorist is trying to blow up London and it's back to the races."

Wanda nodded again, offering a sad smile to the Russian woman who gives one in return. She lets her hand fall from where it's messing with her shirt seams to squeeze Natasha's wrist lightly, trying to be comforting and the older woman accepts, moving her arm until their hands are laced together. 

When Wanda speaks it is a whisper, a ghost of the woman who had been cracking up not two minutes ago. "I do. I think about Pietro and my parents, the lives we could have had together. I would have graduated from college not too long ago if I had gone."

It was then when Natasha was really reminded of how young Wanda was, she was still at an age where most people didn't even know what gender they like, let alone fighting to save the world every day. "You really are a kid."

"I am not." Wanda almost pouted at the implication. 

Natasha turned to face the witch again, "Never said there was anything wrong with being a kid."

"I think there is in our line of work. It makes me weak, a target, a damsel in distress." Wanda tried to slip her hand from Natasha's grasp but the redhead only tightened her hold. 

"I think you're looking at it all the wrong way. The rest of us are older than you and we're entirely too cynical, jumpy, and not all that willing to trust. Then there's you. Wanda you are naïve at times but it's exactly what this team needs because it reminds us that there is good in the world. You remind us why we're fighting." 

Natasha locked eyes with Wanda while she spoke and only released Wanda's gaze when the younger girl had nodded her understanding. She squeezed Wanda's hand in reassurance and the Sokovian knew she had reached her limit for the day. "I really need to go to sleep Natasha but you can stay, if you want to."

Wanda was painfully aware of how childlike and desperate she had sounded but Natasha only chuckled again. "Do you want me to stay?"

"Yes." Wanda hadn't missed a beat in her answer. She made it through last night just fine but she knew that tonight would be a different story. Tonight the nightmares would come and she didn't want to face them alone. "Please."

Natasha seemed to realize why she would be needed tonight and dutifully promised to stay with Wanda throughout the night. 

 

Both women had fallen asleep relatively easily but three hours later, a little after midnight, Wanda was caught in a nightmare. 

Natasha was stirred from sleep by the whimpering noises coming from Wanda and the way the girl was thrashing around. Once she had gotten her bearings Natasha went to wake the other woman from her nightmare, whispering her name as she shook her shoulder. 

That had done the trick as Wanda had bolted upright and let out a shrill scream that seemed to echo in the large room. The poor girl was panting hard, sweat shining on most of her exposed skin as she trembled in the dark. 

Natasha sat up on her knees, cupping Wanda's cheeks with her hands and gently turned her head until they were looking at each other. "Hey, hey you're okay. You're awake and I'm right here, alright?"

Wanda audibly gulped and nodded as she tried to catch her breath, bringing her hands up to grasp Natasha's. They became an anchor, reminding her that she was here with Natasha, not in Sokovia feeling Pietro die again or in the Raft where she was stuck inside her own head. 

After a minute or so of heavy breathing and shaky dry sobs, Wanda picked her head up and met Natasha's gaze. The older woman still had one hand cupping Wanda's cheek while the other had moved to rub circles on her back. "I think I am okay now."

Natasha let out a low chuckle into the dark room, "Honey, you are far from okay but don't worry, I'll always be there to pick you up."

Wanda nodded her understanding, that was exactly what she needed to hear. Her shoulders sank and she leaned back, half of her body on Nat and the other on the headboard as she let her guard down for this woman. Something she had only ever done for Pietro. 

That action was like opening a floodgate and her eyes quickly watered as a loud sob escaped her mouth. Wanda was tired, and scared, and vulnerable, and overwhelmed, and a little confused by her feelings and all of this came bubbling to the surface. She turned to Natasha, curling around the woman as the tears continued to flow. 

Somewhat to Wanda's surprise, Natasha easily accepted and comforted her. The older woman wrapped an arm around the girl stuck to her side and resumed its job of rubbing small patterns on her back. The other moved to grab Wanda's hand, lacing their fingers together again as she felt tears fall onto her neck and shoulder. She spoke softly, deep voice spouting comforting words and promises of help and acceptance but none of the empty "it will get better" crap that somehow still had the former assassin hoping. 

Five minutes later the girl's shoulders had stopped shaking and her breath began to even out, her hot breath coming out in soft gasps against the spy's neck. Natasha held in a shudder and continued to hold the girl, running a hand through the brunette locks. "You're right. I am never going to be okay, not the same as before."

Before the Raft, before the bomb in Wakanda, before Pietro died, before the experiments that permanently changed her, before the bomb dropped on her home and killed her parents. 

Natasha sighed heavily, this girl literally held the weight of the world on her shoulders and the red head couldn't help because she was still trying to figure out how to bear the pressure. "You're right. You will never be the same as you were before but you will be okay someday. It will be weird and new and nothing like the okay you used to know but you'll get there."

Wanda murmured something along the lines of 'got it' and after a few more seconds she sat up, wiping at her tear stained cheeks and clearing her throat. Natasha was surprised to find she was actually missing the girl's touch when Wanda croaked out a 'thank you'. 

Natasha watched as Wanda tried to pull herself together again, she could see the walls going back up and it made her panicked for the girl. She knew first hand how detrimental it could be for someone to hold everything in and get trapped inside their own head and she was not going to sit back and watch Wanda do that to herself. 

"Wanda?"

"Yes." The reply was clipped but Natasha could still hear the way her voice shook. 

"Don't pretend to be getting better, not for me and especially not for yourself. You'll only get hurt worse." Natasha rest her neck against the headboard, waiting for Wanda's response. 

Slowly, as if moving caused her pain, Wanda turned to face the Russian and she looked like an entirely different woman. Even in the dark light Natasha could see that her eyes were red and puffy, lips were chapped and light pink, her eyes looked vacant, and she had lost all color in her face. She looked like a prisoner of war. 

Natasha blinked as the realization dawned on her; Wanda was a prisoner of war. Of course she knew that physically Wanda had been trapped in the Raft, but mentally, Wanda was imprisoned by the war inside her head every minute of every day. A never ending fight between what she'd done wrong in the past and how she could ever make up for that in the future.

Just like herself. 

She met Wanda's eyes and saw the brunette blink away tears before whispering, "I'm tired, Natasha. I am becoming so overwhelmed by everything and sometimes I don't know how I'll make it through the day."

Natasha grabbed the girl's hand up in her own, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. This girl was a beautiful tragedy in every sense of the words and Natasha found herself falling for her. All the cracks and the tears, she wanted to make them all better or kiss them away but she knew far better than to push. In the meantime, comforting and being close was just fine for her. 

"I know Wanda and I won't lie to you, you're gonna feel like this for a while. But you have to let people in so they can help you."

"Like you?" Wanda looked hopeful, a ghost of a smirk playing on her lips. 

Natasha grinned, "Like me. Now do you wanna try to sleep again or would you rather talk?"

Wands was already falling back against the pillows as she muttered, "Sleep now, talk tomorrow."

"Can do." Natasha didn't have to be told twice, she collapsed back onto the bed and closed her eyes, letting her walls down as she splayed out next to the younger woman. 

She had almost drifted off when she felt a hand close around her own. Opening one eye, Natasha saw that Wanda was lying flat on her stomach with her eyes shut, one arm tucked under her side and the other holding Natasha's hand. 

Natasha thought it was nothing but adorable and followed Wanda into an easy sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Should I continue?


End file.
